-- Brainstorm 2-3 possible ideas you have for your Heintzelman piece
-- Read an oped column or editorial of your choice. Post the link as a comment on this message. In one journal page, answer these questions: What is the author's main point? What evidence supports it? If you were arguing against it, how would you do so? (in other words, what holes are there in the argument?)

-- To me, the hard part about writing the Susan Butcher piece would be showing how odd Butcher is without mocking her. So the lead of the piece is key, because it's funny and the joke's on us. Who would ask all of those monotonous questions? Regular people. Like Susan Orlean (and us, the readers). And who would answer them? A patient, kind person. Susan Butcher. So right away we're on Butcher's side; if anyone's being mocked, it's regular Americans (like the readers) and it's ok to make fun of yourself. After that first step, we can't help but be impressed by her feats of strength, and are willing to see her eccentricities as charming quirks rather than personality flaws. And if we didn't get the point, we have the very image of sporting bravery, the boxer, as a final stand-in for the reader, sounding like a ridiculous representative of mainstream society. And making Butcher seem better by comparison. Most of you (whose essays I've read so far; I'm beginning to despair of having them all done for tomorrow) did well finding basic techniques, but didn't do as well with the question of how they worked. Specifically in this piece, how they worked to win sympathy for Butcher.

-- Most folks talked about tone. Not as many as I would like showed examples of that tone. If you're going to characterize tone, make sure to show examples.

-- From Strunk and White, about the use of the word "very": "Use this word sparingly. Where emphasis is necessary, use words strong in themselves." Applies to "really" as well. And "pretty." These are all just pretty weak ways to really avoid very strong verbs and nouns.

-- Careful to avoid just discussing the content of what the writer is saying, as opposed to analyzing how it's said.

-- It's "Orlean" not "Orleans."

So you have three sample essays -- 2A, 2B, and 2C. What score would you give each and why?
Add your reasoning as a comment on this message.

From Gene Weingarten of the Washington Post, the piece that's not Seriously Silly that I referred to in class today.

A few general thoughts after reading everyone's pieces:
-- First person. Susan Orlean includes herself in stories as a point of contrast. She’s the adult to Colin Duffy’s kid. The strait-laced adult to the Maui Surfer Girls’ free-wheelin’ ways. The sanity to the unhinged mania of Tiffany’s agent-driven life. We can see those subjects in sharper view because we have her in the pieces to bounce off of. If you’re using first person, why are you doing it? What does your presence  in the stories add?

-- What is it like being a freshman? Kids at that age struggle with a lot of the same issues – fitting in, finding an individual identity, confronting adult issues like sex, alcohol and drugs. How is your freshman dealing with those things? If they are extraordinary, are they extraordinary because they deal with those hurdles better than most?

Here are a couple of web sites that might give you a bit more detail about what being a freshman in high school is like:

http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-Your-Freshman-Year-in-High-School

Kind of a goofy list, but what does it reveal about what freshman worry about? Struggle with? How does your freshman fit into those issues?

http://www.answers.com/topic/child-development

A slightly more scientific look at adolescent development. If these are the issues freshman struggle with (scroll down), how does this manifest itself in your subject?

-- Show don’t tell.  A writing teacher’s cliché, which doesn’t make it any less valuable.  Don’t just tell us what your impressions of the freshman were – give the reader the raw material to reach that conclusion him or herself.

        -- Relatively few of you talked at all about what the freshman wants to be when he or she grows up. Or, to put it another way, what their hopes and dreams are (beyond college admissions). You’re writing about an unformed person, someone who’s started to look like the adult they eventually will be but who isn’t there yet. Be interesting to at least ask how they see the finished picture shaping up.

         -- An element of Orlean we haven’t given due justice to – she’s kind of funny. It’s ok if you are, too. (And if you’re not, don’t stretch for it). But humor in writing is almost universally appreciated.

As a comment on this message: The final line of the piece brings the whole thing into focus a bit, in a kind of cutting way. What does Orlean do in the rest of the piece to set up this line?

And just in case your pop culture education does not extend to mid-80s bubblegum music, here's a Tiffany video for your enjoyment: